“I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love—for your dreams—for the adventure of being alive” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer
For the adventure of being alive!
As a person, I’m someone who thrives on adventure and change. In my friend group, I’m the one who suggests spontaneous trips to unusual places or signs us all up for lessons from a West-African drumming ensemble. Why live a boring life when you can live an exciting one? Why stick with the familiar when you can experience something new?
And it is this driving curiosity and love of life that drove me to pack my solitary blue suitcase and go study in St. Petersburg, Russia for the fall semester of my senior year.
Upon first arrival, everything was in some shape or form of “Wow!” The pastel colored buildings, the lump of loose coins you receive in change after buying a bottle of water, the intimidatingly beautiful Russian women speed walking long distances in towering stilettos, the stray dogs who wander the city and bark at things… Every moment and every step felt empowering from being able to talk about my day with my host mom to negotiating a cell phone contract in Russian.
Of course there are the demoralizing moments as well like trying to buy theater tickets for a show that you are convinced is in August but is actually in September or when you mix up your words so badly in Russian that the store attendant mutters “иностранцы” (foreigners) and literally just gives up on you. But, I think the embarrassing experiences are also just as empowering as the good ones because they, as a mother might say to an unwilling child, “build character.”
After lying on the floor of my acting class pretending to be a glue monster in front of twenty Russian students or being yelled at by a security guard after accidentally walking in through the exit of the metro, I’m pretty sure my sense of self can survive anything.
There’s still a constant feeling that no matter what you do, you’re probably doing something wrong, which can be paralyzing, but then at the same time—freeing.
Mistakes are ok.
Mistakes are ok.
Mistakes are ok.
This is the mantra my perfectionist self has been muttering to itself throughout college, and I think there is no better and immediate way to realize this statement than through study abroad. One month into my study abroad adventure, I realize that it’s very easy to stay at home, settle into your routine, do what is comfortable, and avoid the uncomfortable. Here, in Russia, often times necessity thrusts you into the uncomfortable. You can’t just go without water or completely avoid public transport, and thus you take a deep breath, gather the few words you know, and try your best.
Talking to my friends who are also in the study abroad group, I think we all are experiencing culture shock similarly but in stride. As one friend said, “all the things I miss are easily rectifiable.” No public trash cans? Re-use and throw away less stuff. Can’t drink the tap water? Head to the store or fill a bottle from home. Feeling overwhelmed by the city? Take the электричка (a train that goes to the suburbs) out of the city and stroll around a park.
Thus, I think those of us who are adjusting best are perhaps the ones who come in with the least amount of expectations. Life just is and you never know what will happen next.
This past week, we celebrated our one month of living here quietly, as in we didn’t even realize one month went by until our host moms pointed it out to us at dinner.
“I feel like I can get around and do what I need to do.”
“I feel like I live here now.”
“I feel like my vocabulary has doubled.”
“I finally have Russian friends.”
These are all things we can say now as we successfully navigate parts of the city without Google Maps or order food with no “surprise” words or requests from the waiters or converse freely with our host parents and 1-month in, hey, I guess that’s pretty good!
There’s still so many things left to do—I still have to go to the Hermitage, buy my balalaika and figure out some folk tunes, learn to cook blini, and hunt for mushrooms at my host mother’s dacha but those things will come. One month in, I have the confidence and the perspective to be able to pursue my goals and experience my upcoming life in Russia to its fullest extent.
Adventure is my spirit, and I look forward to see where the ball rolls next.
